I shall not get drawn into arguments on the internet, I shall not get drawn into arguments on the internet, I shall not….
Ok so I’ve been repeating this over and over again in my head for about a day now after letting just such a thing happen. And in honesty in that case I would have done it again, it needed to happen and I didn’t really feel bad about it. And I know it happens to all of us from time to time, where someone posts the right thing on the right day, at the right time, and you’re in the right mood and you just get drawn in. we are all human, it happens.
So what set me off this time? And what is really the point of this post? This actually goes back to something I’ve ranted about before, no one takes responsibility for things any more, we get an “I’m sorry, I made a mistake, get over it!” All the time I see adults use this sort of defense all the time and drives me insane. Somewhere in the past we started telling kids that it is important to say you’re sorry when you make a mistake and it will all be better, but we never taught them the next step, which would be actually demonstrating that you are sorry, and there are steps after that as well.
Here is what I mean; let’s say that I’ve made a mistake, backing into a car for example.
Step 1) own the mistake; which I’ve recently learned in this situation is really rare in and of its self
Step 2) take action to show that you know you made a mistake and start to try to make it right. Using the car example that would be leaving a note if the driver wasn’t there, or trading insurance information.
Step 3) try to repair damage done, either figuratively or literally. In this case you would be paying for damage (or your insurance company but you still pay for that).
Step 4) try to change and do better from then on out, in this example, use your mirrors, turn your head, and try not to hit other peoples cars
This all seems fairly simple to me but the vast majority of people in the world seem to have a serious problem with these concepts. So many people, any buy people I mean adults, seem to think simply saying they are sorry is enough. But it’s not, apologizing is not an act of contrition, it’s a word, or maybe a few words, and talk is cheap. You want me to believe you are sorry then you need to show me, an action needs to be taken.